I responded to this Fark.com forum post:

“The farkisms page seems somewhat put of date. Can we suggest some updates?” (Link goes to Farkisms, a somewhat stale list of sayings or memes used quite often at Fark.)

It was unfortunately redlit (not accepted for inclusion on the main page) so you probably won’t see it.

My reply:

Of our times, a couple or three to spark comment:

  • D2S / Donnie Two Scoops - the predisent of the Disunited States of America; known for his insistence on two (2) scoops of frozen dessert vs his guests’ one (1). AKA 45, a sequential number assigned to him on not winning the popular vote in the 2016 Presidential Election. Compared unfavourably to even the 43rd holder of one of the numbers.

  • Snekretary - a serpently figure of fun based on the one-time White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, also a figure of fun due in no small part to his creativity with truthiness in behalf of his boss. Arch-nemesis: the Mongoose. See impaler

  • Welcome to Fark - a phrase or pictorial meme offered as evidence, an easy rebuttal of sorts, of another poster’s ineptitude in assessing a situation they advanced an opinion on.

If you’re not a Farker (or work with me) this is probably as meaningless as my last-but-one post.


“Remember to look up at the stars.” - Stephen Hawking.


There is apparently a social convention that, when the adult in charge of a group of children in church repeatedly tries but fails to stop them talking, one must not turn round and tell them, other people’s children that is, to shut up.

Well, that’s a bit crap isn’t it.


Today I achieved a lifetime’s ambition, the middle finger of a man extended in my specific direction. It happens only after the phrase “Usual message”, uttered (or blurted) in his presence; oddly the context is, unusually, utterly irrelevant.

Here, by the way, that precise combination of words is inextricably linked to the notion the man may, or may not, be most easily described by another word rhyming with ‘crunt’. (But I’ve seen no evidence whatsoever of his ‘cruntiness’.)

Thanks sir; even though mine was accidental, it still makes me feel good to be number one.

If you don’t work with me this’ll make no sense.


Regarding Donald Trump’s uncanny ability to toss a word salad:

Someone ought to deaf-sign (BSL) what he says, run that through a round of Chinese Whispers, and translate back into English after filtering through a Khoisan language speaker without technical knowledge of, er… pretty much anything. When that’s done, ROT-13 it and run it through a battery of mathematical transformations executed on a sub-120MHz Pentium.

See, nothing random there.

(First posted at Fark.com.)