IT support request

This user-requested software upgrade exchange didn’t happen. I’ve made it up. Yes.*

The Man:

“[folder name] There is a launcher in here [program name].exe which should install the shizzle.”

Me, feeling cocky:

“We iz installing the shizzle on Jason’s machine.  We think. :)”

(time passed…)

Unfortunately due to the way [program name] works, its installer had a lie down instead of exhibiting the outward trappings of a performant conclusion.

Me, somewhat circumspect:

“Could you please start the [program name] upgrade on a few more machines after lunch/1pm? Ben, Zeb, John-Boy and John.  Maybe Olivia and Mary-Ellen tomorrow.”

The Man:

‘Please see below for the correct way to submit a request, as one of your colleagues seemed to nail it!

“Oh Great One, Your humble servant requests that you fix [another program name] on my PC what not working (but did last week). Thanks’

Me, acquiescing:

“Dear Sir or Madam of Awesomesauce,

This obsequious underling (initially examining but not limiting said examination to in this regard the relative vertical offsets between uppermost portions of cranial body parts) is desirous of your physical presence around these environs after the commencement and subsequent termination of the half-hour period in which the majority consume their midday repast to effect the increase in [program name]-related CAD and/or design productivity (post-button-fiddling-and-bitwise-cogitation) of a small number of my esteemed colleagues, to be occasioned by a heretofore successful manual implementation of a ‘soft ware upgrade’; those colleagues being namely by name: Ben of Sausage, Zeb of Sausage, John of Sausage, and John-Boy the, er…  And, upon successful termination of the afore-to-alluded-to procedural black-box magic incantations, to examine the possibility of repeating the procedures on two further colleagues’ computing devices at a point not limited to a limited time within the limits of the next working day; those personnel being namely Olivia The Great of A-Specific-Sausage-Name-Analogy and Mary-Ellen The Great of Many-Bread-Product-Name-Analogies.

Yours in eager and trembling anticipatory raptures, Mr or Mrs Turner.

p.s. The writer has determined that his or her [another program name] is also what not working (but what did earlier in the year.)”

(time passed…)

Yes, of course he did it, tsk!

The end.

*Er… No, that’s not exactly true. However the names have been changed to protect the identities of the guineapigs involvZzzz…